I already feel like I’m subconsciously returning home earlier, like a teenager with a curfew (I’m 26!). Or find myself reaching into my pocket more to pay for a bus because I’d rather not walk back - and this is when the sun hasn’t even fully set. If street lights are on then it’s like clockwork to me
Kind of assumed that my mood gets lower at this time of year because of mental health reasons and the whole ‘not getting enough sunlight’ narrative. But reading this has made me realise that actually, part of it is the limitations we face when the nights are longer
Abigail, thank you so much for sharing this. I could not agree more with that sense of curfew, as if we're being held back in some way. We're not allowed to keep our behaviour and routines the same, because if we did, we would get the blame for being harassed or attacked. 'You shouldn't have been walking alone at night' - how about 'he shouldn't have chosen to attack me'??? Sending you so much love xxxx
Amazing piece Lauren. My office doesn't have a car park, so I have to walk through an alleyway to get to my car. When the clocks change, I go the long way round so I don't have to do that walk or I park somewhere different entirely. I'd never really consciously realised *why* I was doing this before.
As for leaving the house alone in the evening - we live in the centre of a town with anything you need within a 5 minute walk. If it's dark and late, I'm absolutely not going.
This experience will resonate with so many women Soph - thank you for sharing it. It's the mental load of having to think about the journey or choice that will put us in the least danger, and yet still knowing that we're never 100% safe. It's exhausting x
I don't know if you saw the Graham Norton show last week but essentially Eddie Redmayne was talking about how you can use your phone to defend yourself if you're being attacked, and Paul Mescal said 'who's actually going to think about that, if I'm being attacked I'm not going to go, phone', and there was laughter, and then Saoirse Ronan said 'actually that's what girls have to think about all the time', and there was silence. I just thought it was the perfect example of something that can be funny for men, but it's just normal for women. How many of us walk with our car keys fixed between our knuckles, or power walk to our cars? Especially when I used to live alone, I would literally sprint home sometimes because I was afraid, or I'd just not meet up with my friends at night because I didn't want to walk home alone. There are so many things we have consider.
I hadn't heard of Reclaim the Night before, but it sounds like a fantastic event and I hope it goes really well!
*update* just mentioned this at work and immediately my male colleagues hit me with 'yeah but men have to do that too, it's not just women, women aren't more likely than men to be attacked on the street' and I literally wish I never said anything, I thought it was a universally accepted that it's scary to be a woman in the dark but I guess not...
I find myself almost retreating during the darker months. I make far fewer plans after 5pm, and only really do stuff if I'm not going alone. Even walking to and from the bus stop doesn't feel safe. When I'm in the office, I leave early and finish working at home just so I'm not walking in the dark. It makes me so angry to feel like this. So angry. I was thinking of writing something too, but I think you've summed this up perfectly. I hope your Reclaim the Night event goes well!
I already feel like I’m subconsciously returning home earlier, like a teenager with a curfew (I’m 26!). Or find myself reaching into my pocket more to pay for a bus because I’d rather not walk back - and this is when the sun hasn’t even fully set. If street lights are on then it’s like clockwork to me
Kind of assumed that my mood gets lower at this time of year because of mental health reasons and the whole ‘not getting enough sunlight’ narrative. But reading this has made me realise that actually, part of it is the limitations we face when the nights are longer
Thank you for writing this 🫶🏻✨
Abigail, thank you so much for sharing this. I could not agree more with that sense of curfew, as if we're being held back in some way. We're not allowed to keep our behaviour and routines the same, because if we did, we would get the blame for being harassed or attacked. 'You shouldn't have been walking alone at night' - how about 'he shouldn't have chosen to attack me'??? Sending you so much love xxxx
Absolutely! The one my mum always tells me is “it’s not you I don’t trust, it’s other people”
Sending love back! I can’t wait to read more xxxx ❤️
Amazing piece Lauren. My office doesn't have a car park, so I have to walk through an alleyway to get to my car. When the clocks change, I go the long way round so I don't have to do that walk or I park somewhere different entirely. I'd never really consciously realised *why* I was doing this before.
As for leaving the house alone in the evening - we live in the centre of a town with anything you need within a 5 minute walk. If it's dark and late, I'm absolutely not going.
This experience will resonate with so many women Soph - thank you for sharing it. It's the mental load of having to think about the journey or choice that will put us in the least danger, and yet still knowing that we're never 100% safe. It's exhausting x
What an important article, Lauren.
I don't know if you saw the Graham Norton show last week but essentially Eddie Redmayne was talking about how you can use your phone to defend yourself if you're being attacked, and Paul Mescal said 'who's actually going to think about that, if I'm being attacked I'm not going to go, phone', and there was laughter, and then Saoirse Ronan said 'actually that's what girls have to think about all the time', and there was silence. I just thought it was the perfect example of something that can be funny for men, but it's just normal for women. How many of us walk with our car keys fixed between our knuckles, or power walk to our cars? Especially when I used to live alone, I would literally sprint home sometimes because I was afraid, or I'd just not meet up with my friends at night because I didn't want to walk home alone. There are so many things we have consider.
I hadn't heard of Reclaim the Night before, but it sounds like a fantastic event and I hope it goes really well!
*update* just mentioned this at work and immediately my male colleagues hit me with 'yeah but men have to do that too, it's not just women, women aren't more likely than men to be attacked on the street' and I literally wish I never said anything, I thought it was a universally accepted that it's scary to be a woman in the dark but I guess not...
I find myself almost retreating during the darker months. I make far fewer plans after 5pm, and only really do stuff if I'm not going alone. Even walking to and from the bus stop doesn't feel safe. When I'm in the office, I leave early and finish working at home just so I'm not walking in the dark. It makes me so angry to feel like this. So angry. I was thinking of writing something too, but I think you've summed this up perfectly. I hope your Reclaim the Night event goes well!