I live in two worlds
A note on living a life of joyous juxtaposition
In the words of Rory Gilmore, I live in two worlds. One is a sparkling, endlessly fascinating world of champagne flutes and sequins, flashing cameras and hastily assembled tripods, city skylines and late night trains home as my heart ricochets in my chest with the thrill of it all. I have witnessed the glamour and the chaos of the red carpet, met my literary and broadcasting heroes in rooms I never deigned to believe I belonged, worked with extraordinarily talented people who are kind and hardworking and relentless in their pursuit of what it truly means to be alive. It’s a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior.
My second one is crafted in shades of muddy brown, verdant green and softest pink. It exists within the walls of a tiny cottage that has stood on the same spot for more than a hundred years. This is a world of home comforts, cosy blankets, laughter and warmth and love and space to breathe and be still. Here, my cup is almost always full, my bowl laden with something delicious and inviting as tendrils of steam dance in the air. Home is my happiest of places, the safety and quiet joy of its four walls filling my heart with fizzing, sparkling magic.
I guess you could say that, as Hannah Montana once sang, I’ve got the best of both worlds. How incredibly lucky I am; how privileged to have a happy home to retreat to, a job that I find exciting and inspiring, a support network that encourages me to do both, be both, have it all.
I’m not sure that I could do one without the other - in fact, I know that I couldn’t do any of it without James by my side. He carries far more than his fair share of the mental load of it all, always finding more energy in his reserves to take care of the house and me when I’m overwhelmed and tired and just want to be held. He is a constant source of unconditional love and acceptance, and in turn, I am more confident and more sure of myself than I’ve ever been. Without his unwavering belief in me, I wouldn’t have said yes to even half of the opportunities that I have been lucky enough to experience over the last two years.
At the end of every day that I spend doing this mad, mad job, it’s still my second world of stillness and peace and home that I crave. Perhaps that’s precisely the beauty of it. I get to see it all unfold, to be swept up in the glitz and glamour of it all, without actually being a part of it: I can experience it in my own small way and still be home in time for dinner and an episode of Masterchef: The Professionals.
I love my two worlds. I love living a life of contrast. And I am grateful every day for the people around me who make it a reality.
Thanks so much for reading! I really appreciate it.
Lauren x
Both of these worlds sound incredible Lauren. Like you say, I don't think one would be as great without the other.
I would happily spend time in both of those worlds! 🥰 These days I'm much more in my cozy hermit era, but there was a time I was also doing this. As a journalist and publicist I was spending a lot of nights out at shows, train rides at midnight, (small) awards shows and events, then cozying up in my PJs with my hot cocoa and trashy shows. But I like the balance each provides and the way they seem to compliment each other here!