A couple of weeks ago, I told one of my clients that I will be stepping away from managing the socials for the brand.
It was a conversation and decision that had been brewing for some time, but one that I needed to agonise over for weeks before I felt confident enough to actually pull the trigger.
As a freelancer, I still struggle with the idea of letting go of regular work, even if it is no longer serving me. I still feel the urge to say yes to everything, to hold on to retained clients; I still lead from a scarcity mindset, a sense of unworthiness. How dare I think that I’m successful enough to pick and choose clients? Who do I think I am, prioritising my work life balance and what makes me feel happy and fulfilled?
The whole point of being self-employed is to cultivate freedom and choice in your life, and yet I still feel my cortisol levels rising when I think about saying goodbye to client relationships that simply aren’t working for me anymore.
I thought it might be helpful to talk about when it’s time to quit and how to have the conversation respectfully, and most importantly, how to quell that critical little voice that likes to admonish us for simply moving on and making a change.
Please note: I am not professionally qualified to give you advice. Everything you read here comes from my personal experience as a freelancer and must be taken with a massive pinch of salt.
How do you know when to quit?
Well, for me, it’s usually one of three things: not feeling excited by the work anymore, not having the physical time or headspace to fit it in, or a gut feeling that it just isn’t working or doesn’t align with the direction I want to be going in. Of course, there have been moments where the client relationship has been difficult in some way and I have needed to step away for the sake of my sanity, but by and large, these are the main reasons behind a decision to quit.
Underneath all of this, there’s a layer of transition and reemergence too, a desire to swiftly change direction and break away from the path I have laid out for myself - a trait I often put down to being an indecisive Gemini who flirts with everything and everyone and wanted to do about 15 different careers before the age of 6. Astrological conclusions aside, I remain comforted by the fact that my quiet but determined inner compass is always guiding me, and if I choose to listen, she’s usually pointing me in the right direction. In the aftermath, if it’s the right thing, there’s a sense of confidence and self belief that comes from freeing up space to grow, evolve and learn more about myself.
The circumstances under which this particular client break-up came to fruition are part of a larger career transformation that I have been navigating since the spring of 2023. That transition is very much still ongoing; I am fledging, but getting stronger and more sure of myself with every day, week and month that passes. As a result, I have been reevaluating my client roster, thinking about new ways of working, and resisting the destructive urge to throw caution to the wind and start over again (this is definitely not a sensible idea, and also not actually what I want at all. We’re going for slow, thoughtful and meaningful, rather than rushed and ill-considered).
OK, let’s go through the different reasons why you might consider quitting a freelance gig, and how to handle it. Of course, it goes without saying that finances must always come into any decision you make - always keep your bottom line in mind, do the sums, and don’t quit in a rush without knowing what impact it will have on your finances.
What if you’re not excited about the client or the nature of the work anymore?
When I start getting the itch to move on because I feel bored or creatively stunted, I make a point of halting the thought in its tracks and reflecting before I action it. Is it the client/workload itself that isn’t interesting to me anymore, or is there anything I can change about this arrangement so that I feel happier or more fulfilled? What is it about this client that isn’t setting my soul on fire? Are there specific issues that can be addressed, or new ideas or approaches that might improve the way I feel about it?
I give myself at least one month to sit with my feelings about it and, if possible, have the conversations that I need to have to try and turn things around. I also find it really helpful to have a frank conversation with myself to establish whether I’m just craving a new challenge, or if I need the space and time that this client is currently taking up to nurture other clients, take on new ones, or find more time for myself personally or professionally.
Once you’ve done all your deep internal thinking and made your choice, you need to bite the bullet and have the conversation. Be brave and do it in person, or over video call: do not send a text or an email, especially if you like them and want them to pay your outstanding invoice(s). Be honest and confident in your convictions: “It feels like the right time for me to move on and explore new challenges,” “I’ve achieved what I wanted to achieve and it’s time for someone new to bring a different perspective and fresh ideas,” “I am moving in a different direction and this role is no longer a fit for me.”
What if you no longer have the time or headspace to dedicate to the client?
It can be all too tempting to work ourselves into the ground as freelancers, but consider this your sign to STOP DOING THAT. Resist that urge. I worked all the hours under the sun when I first started out four years ago, before I realised that actually, I just needed to double what I was charging and halve my client roster.
if you’re taking on a new client and looking to let go of a long-standing one, take some time before you tell your client that you’re giving them the heave ho. It’s a good idea to allow the new client glow to settle - make sure that they are 100% aligned with your way of working and professional goals and that the working relationship is stable, before you let go of your more established client.
The same goes if you’re reevaluating your work-life balance or changing the industry or discipline that you work in. Take your time, self-reflect, and have an honest conversation with the client when you’ve made your decision. Oftentimes, being self-employed forces us to dial in to our inner voice to find clarity of thought; working for yourself is a masterclass in listening, reflecting, and being open to change and transformation.
What if it’s just not working?
When you know, you know. If all your ducks are in a row (finances, personal and professional goals etc etc) then all you need to do is be brave and find the inner resolve and courage to go for it.
The beauty of being freelance is that when you want to leave a job, you’ll probably have several others to keep you afloat - it might feel reckless and unhinged to voluntarily walk away from a monthly income or regular project work, but there doesn’t always need to be something drastically wrong for it to not be right for us. We can allow ourselves to leave professional (or personal) situations and relationships that aren’t serving us, without having a million watertight justifications for that decision…just a feeling that it isn’t working for us.
What about that judgy little voice?
Oh, you mean the one that tries to tell you that you’re not worthy of making decisions that will have a positive impact on your wellbeing, that you’re not allowed to quit or have any kind of control over your life; the one with that special way of making you feel simultaneously small and insignificant and also far too big and unwieldy for your boots? Yeah, she’s a real b*tch.
Whether you’re self-employed or not, you are allowed, nay, encouraged, to do whatever it is that you need to do to feel happy and content in your life. That inner voice can often become even louder when we strike out on our own and try to carve out a pathway that differs from that of other people around us; it seeks any opportunity to erode our self worth, to amplify our worst fears and dampen down the tiny shreds of hope and confidence that we work so hard to build up.
I can’t tell you how to quieten the voice, but I can tell you not to listen to it - much, much easier said than done, I know. Trust in your instincts and find strength and confidence in your convictions, and know that even if you do make the wrong move, it doesn’t mean you can’t turn back, find a different path, go another way. You are not stuck just because you made a decision; as Emma Reed Turrell says, if you get on the wrong train, you can just get off at the next stop and change direction. Your life is not destined to follow the trajectory unless you make it so.
Have you ever quit a freelance job or parted ways with a client? How did you approach that decision and how did it impact your working life and business? Let’s chat in the comments!
Lauren x